what i was reminded of last weekend

* it is extremely hard to be away from those we love when they are facing difficult times.  my stepson is sick right now.  he was very sick on the weekend but is getting better.  my man is by his son's side, right where he should be.  my heart is with them even though my body is not.

* life can change in an instant - as it did for my stepson last weekend - health is a privilege to have and to protect as much as we are able. 

* i grew up in and continue to have a great family - i am so very lucky to have wonderful parents, brothers, and sisters in law - i love it so much when we can all get together

* my niece and nephews are awesome.  monkey had so much fun with her cousins this past weekend.  my newest, littlest nephew (7 months old) makes my heart melt with his adorableness, he is growing so very fast.  my next littlest nephew (1.5 years old) is the perfect toddler age, is always having fun, and runs everywhere (except when he stops for a snuggle).  my niece is just a bit younger than monkey - i hardly saw either of them all weekend because they were playing playing playing, although i did get the opportunity to see her discover the fact that should could "kick her own butt" - funny girl.  my oldest nephew is growing up (grade 5!) and is a joy to be around - he even came out for a run with me on sunday morning

* my daughter is growing up... in every beautiful, precious way that i can imagine.  she brings incredible joy to my life, this girl... especially when we sing together in the car on the long drive to SK.

* my mom is a very brave woman

* my dad loves his family with a great big heart

* i love the farm

a movie watched late into the night

so, i started watching a movie last night way too late (for me, anyway).  i only planned to watch half the movie like a responsible person but i couldn't stop.  the movie was *grey gardens*, an hbo film about the beale women (mother and daughter, big edie and little edie).  

apparently, these sisters became famous as they are related to jacqueline kennedy onassis and were the focus of a documentary in the 70s (which i have never seen. note to self: track down this doc).  this movie showcases their rather eccentric lives from somewhat socialite beginnings to somewhat tragic ends.  the performance of drew barrymore as little edie in this movie is truly beautiful and heartbreaking (jessica lange is also great, but drew is really the highlight here).  i am a fan of the drew in almost anything she does but i think she has created such a memorable, complex, loveable and tragic character in this movie.  the free spirit she was at the beginning of this film reminds me so much of my daughter (granted, my daughter is 6 years old and she is a young woman in this film).  the mother is extreme in her need to hold on to (and hold back) her daughter due to loneliness and likely jealousy.  

while i am not jealous of my daughter, i do recognize this desire to 'hold on' to her, although not in any such extreme manner.  i find that this whole process of 'letting go' of my girl is not simple.  it's a constant struggle.  she started riding her bike without training wheels this summer.  it was so beautiful... and yet... as she rode away from me down the sidewalk... on her own... away from me... i felt a pang (or two or three or four) and just wanted to shout COME BACK! then as i let myself let go of her just a little bit, the beautiful feelings of proud mommy came in, the happiness at seeing her achieve something she wanted so much, that she's been working on all summer.  this movie really imprinted on me how important each stage of the 'letting go' process is, what the consequences can be of trying to hold on too much, and how important it is to celebrate our children in all of their unique fabulousness.

et voila... that's that.  the movie is truly great.  do see it if you can.  available at the calgary public library (how i love the library).  

while watching:  knitting *blue woollen mittens for monkey*

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my blog. a place to keep track of my thoughts, my projects, and just a bit of what happens in this crazy, beautiful life.